Yea, it’s quite an awful feeling. When you start something you feel excited. but the pain of being really bad at something is just excruciating.

You see, I just got a brand new guitar. I’ve been a musician for most of my life, but never really had a guitar. Now I started practicing and I just feel like returning it. I honestly feel like giving up.

The fun thing is: it’s not like I’m frustrated because I’m bad at it. I’m used to being bad at things. I’m frustrated at the prospect of never getting good because I know in my heart that I don’t have the motivation or the willpower to continue being bad at it for long enough until I’m somewhat good.

Sure, if you watch me playing you’ll probably think I know what I’m doing. Though I don’t. And it’s not enough for myself, my own standards of where I wanted to be.

It gets even worse when I know I’m going to struggle for days trying to learn a solo and simply won’t. At some point I’ll just give up. This is probably the reason why I have given up so many times while trying to learn a song or a solo.

The same goes for exercising. There are some things that are considered “easy exercises” though I simply cannot do them. And it’s not like I’m a big blob. I’m a somewhat fit person. But I lack the willpower to suck at it long enough that someday I’ll get better.

So I’m already frustrated at the guitar thing, and this piles up with the exercise thing. The amount of frustration is through the roof right now and I just feel like dropping everything.

So, yeah, don’t start many things at the same time. It’s going to be frustrating, and if the frustration piles up you might just end up like me: wanting to give up on life.